Who Gets The Girls? iPhone Users Or Android Users?


It’s a shame for men who weren’t born in the age of smartphones because scoring girls have never been as easy as it is in this era. A new study from Harvard University of Noakhali (HUN) found that the number of girlfriends a man had in the primitive times have doubled after the discovery of smartphones.  When we performed a survey to prove this theory, the results were mind-blowingly satisfactory.


We found that every man who preferred a woman said that they got laid twice as much after shifting from their flip phones to a smartphone. But the bigger question then became, who got laid the most ? iPhone users or Android users? A team of 4 male students from the Oxford International University, Mirpur, decided to conduct a research on this topic because they had been going through a “ dry spell” for the better part of their puberty. After interviewing countless beautiful women, they found out that women were drawn more to the “ iPhone” compared to “ Android”. The reason behind this was not shocking at all. Since women are drawn more to the money of their boyfriends, iPhone was their biggest motivation in finding the most eligible bachelor because iPhone represents “bag full of cash if you come sit in my lap’. After conducting a thorough investigation for their research paper , the group found that  the relationship between “iPhone sales” and “getting laid” is so close that with the sale of everyone iPhone in Shiddeshwari , the sale of condom goes up by 3 on an average. They also found that since iPhone costs a lot of money, the number of “sugar daddies” have also gone up because older men have the ability to afford iPhone while younger men gets stuck with an android. Thus, if you want to keep your girlfriends away from rich iPhone owning sugar daddies, get rich and become a sugar daddy.



Written by Bruce Wayne

Busy saving Gotham.

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